Modern Chinese Indonesian Wedding Culture

Hello.....

I wanna share with you all about our modern Chinese wedding culture.. I think it's good to share culture and to learn from one another :) if you are westerners reading my blog, I hope you find our wedding culture is interesting and I would love you to share your wedding culture too... :)

Our wedding ceremony & reception is normally conducted in 1 day.. Morning time before 12 noon would be our tea ceremony and night time, after 7 pm would be our reception or wedding party..

Chinese people around the world has different Chinese wedding culture and our Chinese Indonesian wedding culture may be a little bit different with other Chinese from other countries.. I'm Chinese by race but I'm an Indonesian by nationality and I'm still following Chinese culture, well not that pure 100% Chinese Culture anymore.. already mixed here and there a little bit... Nevertheless, I'm proud of my modern mixed culture :)

Our wedding started at 8 am in the morning... I had my make up done before 7 am.. Chinese Indonesians believe that wedding ceremony must finish by 10 am.. By 10 am, newly wed couple must enter their wedding room.. It's the tradition for wedding luck & blissful marriage :)

8.20 am, I was at my mum's room, waiting for my groom to pick me up to the groom's place (either hotel or his house, mine was at hotel) to have the tea ceremony with groom's family.. None of my family members was allowed to have a peek or visit my tea ceremony with the groom and his family members... That's the culture!!

Well, let's see what's the groom doing there??

He was ready to pick me up!!!

His car with his driver was ready!!!!

In our culture, his older auntie & his mum must help him to dress up!

and his niece (prefer unmarried young girl) to pass him the bride's flowers banquet and in return, the groom gave his niece a red packet (money inside)

Chinese is very superstitious, the one who is in charged of opening the car door is not just somebody or the driver or the groom... It must be a young boy (not married) from the groom's relative.. Preferably, a boy from a dragon year (dragon is one of Chinese horoscope symbols) Dragon means prosperity :) hey, 2012 is a dragon year :)

This little boy is my hubby's nephew and so, he's the one opening the car door for the groom :)

He was ready to pick me up from my home!!

My mum & dad held my hands, brought me down to meet my husband :)

We bowed to each other :)

I clipped one red rose on his left.

After meeting the bride, we had a little celebration at the bride's home.. It was just to toss & cheer the Groom & Bride for their blissful marriage :) and no one from Groom's family was allowed to see or attend this little ceremony! so yeah they are all my relatives, aunties, uncles, cousins, etc :)

then we exchanged our wedding rings

After a little celebration at bride's family, finally I was ready to leave my family and to be his forever :)

By culture, I'm no longer belonged to my mama because my groom has taken me away and I'm his now :) that's our culture!!!

After that, what happened next?? Where were we heading??
We were heading for my husband's family to conduct traditional tea ceremony and no one from my family was allowed to see this ceremony and yes, it's that strict!!

Tea ceremony at the Groom's place.. The guy wearing suite beside my husband was the ceremony MC, he's the one instructing us to bow, serve tea, kiss, hug, etc (LOL)
Step 1: Bowed to mother & father.. My father in law already passed away, so my husband's oldest auntie was representing his dad.. Since his family is female dominated - no uncle, so his oldest auntie is taking the role

Step 2: I kissed my mum-in law to represent our closeness, that I'm her daughter now :)

Step 3: I served tea to my mum in law and oldest auntie. My husband was helping me to carry the teapot but it's ME who had to pour the tea and served it to my husband's mum & oldest auntie & older relatives too

Step 4 : After serving, they took a sip of their hot tea and gave us a red packet (money inside) for luck!! We got one each!!

Step 5: I gave them a present to thank them!! and yes, it must be ME!!

Step 6: The thank you KISS

Then the whole process of tea ceremony, Step 1-6 was repeated over and over again to different oldest relatives of the groom. It's gonna take long if you have so many relatives, :)

At the end of the ceremony, we gave out red packets (money inside) to the kids from my husband's family.. His nieces & nephews.. it's to show that we are now married adults. Only married Chinese is allowed to give out red packets :)

Groom's Big Family Photo Shooting :)

Then what happened next???? The clock showed 10 am and we had to enter our wedding room for the first time :) hehe... it's the Chinese tradition to enter wedding chamber and rest there for a while before proceeding to the bride's family for visit...


This was supposed to be our first-night bed hehe...

My diamond ring & his gold band :)

The bed sheet must be red color and it must be brand new too :) it's the culture and 4 oranges must be placed on each corner of the wedding bed. Orange represents prosperity & happy marriage with a lot of happy & healthy children :)

This pair of mugs represents husband & wife as one :) drinking from the same source together :)

Flowers represent beautiful marriage and Grandpa & Grandma miniatures represent beautiful marriage until we are both old with white hair :)

Okay, this one is a pee-poo-pot or a Chinese baby's toilet.. Chinese babies pee and poo here in this red pot in the old days. We covered it with red paper & one little boy from the Groom's family (aged 10 or less or even better if the boy was born in the year of dragon) would punch & tear off the red paper covered on top, then he's supposed to take an orange & red packet from the pot and keep it himself!! We had already placed an orange & a red packet inside the piss-pot. After that, he's gonna pee in the pot... A boy's pee represents fertility & pregnancy of a baby boy as the family's first baby boy!!! Interesting??

Red packets symbolise LUCK!

A pair of combs, represents brushing each another from black hair to white hair :) meaning live together until we are old :)

and this one is very very important, a pair of lights. The lights must be turned on  all day long & night one day before the wedding and one day after the wedding... Chinese believes this would invite or give a sign to the Goddess to come to the couple's room, bless them with happy marriage & beautiful healthy children :)

Okay, basically we rested in our wedding chamber for a few hours, and after 12 noon, we were ready to visit my family as a married woman :p

About 1 pm now, and my mum in law passed me a banquet of mandarin oranges & apples and me & my husband were supposed to bring this back to my family & pass it to my mum & dad... We were going to my place (bride's) to have the tea ceremony with my family and again no one from my husband's side was allowed to follow or visit. That's the tradition!

On the way to my Mama's house to conduct traditional tea ceremony for the bride's family :)

We entered the house and my husband passed a banquet of fruits (apples & oranges) to my mum & dad. Oranges mean prosperity & luck in Chinese, so it's like a blessing to my parents :)

After that, we prayed to our God (Buddhist) using joystick, we both had one joystick to pray facing outside/road. The prayer was to inform God that we got married and had him to bless our marriage

After that, we prayed to the God of House. We believe that The God of House protects our home from fire, robbery, family disharmony, etc.. He protects children too, from accidents happened in the house :) That's our belief!

Tea Ceremony at the bride's started. Same process as the groom's tea ceremony.. The difference was that my husband was serving tea to my parents, not me serving.. Again, no one from my husband's family was allowed to witness this.. That's the culture!

Step 1 : Groom served tea to my mum & dad

Step 2: My mum & dad took a sip of their hot Chinese tea

Step 3: My dad gave my husband a wedding dowry, normally a gold ring

Step 4: My mum gave my husband a wedding dowry, normally a gold necklace

Step 5: My mum then gave me my wedding dowry, a gold necklace (the thicker, the better, in our tradition)

Step 6: My dad gave me my wedding dowry, a gold bracelet

Taking picture with our gold dowries

Step 7: My husband passed a gift of appreciation to my mum & dad :)

The same process went on and on. Basically my husband had to serve my aunties, uncles, whoever older relatives of mine.. Then my relatives had their tea, passed gold dowries to the bride & groom and the groom passed my relatives gift of appreciation. I have so many relatives, so at the end we received so many gold dowries, hehe... that's about 50 pcs of gold dowries (rings, necklaces, bracelets)... We felt so rich after the wedding, hahaha... it's like once in the life time, we own so many golds :p

Next, children waiting for red packets (money inside)

We passed red packets to children to show that we're now married adults :) Only married adults are allowed to give out red packets. Red packets are also to be given out to children during Chinese New Year

Next, to eat sweet egg soup. The ingredients were: 1 egg, 2 red dates, sweet rice balls. The soup was very very sweet. Eating this means we're going to have sweet husband & wife relationship till we're old. Red dates represent sweetness and egg represents 'older' . Eating an egg means we are matured & older, thus we're responsible for our lives & family & future babies :)

My husband fed me

and I fed him :)

That's the end of our tea ceremony. My mum and dad passed me a banquet of sweet sticky rice with Logan fruits, covered with big red flower and a banquet of fruits (apples & oranges) for us to bring back to our new home.. This is also like a blessing to a newly wed couple :)

Reception time: I would say our reception/wedding party is similar to westerner's wedding party. This is why I said our culture is already a mixture of east & west :) I called it a modern Chinese wedding :p

Direct family members were waiting for the guests.. We had about 500 guests coming to our wedding in Medan (North Sumatera-Indonesia). The wedding was at Cambridge Hotel and when the guests came, we greeted them, smiled & shook their hands.. That's it!

After the guests were all well seated. Our direct family members (mum, dad, oldest auntie, sister, brother) were walking down the red carpet towards the wedding stage

They're Indonesian professional models & dancers.. They were about to walk us down towards the stage. They performed a little wedding dance before picking us up

After that, they bowed to us and we walked down the red carpet towards our wedding stage

and they are very tall. I was a model myself many years back and they stood really tall next to me hehe.. I'm about 5'9 (175-176 cm), and that's the reason, my mum hired models haha...

After that, cake cutting...

Champagne tossing...

serving foods to all my direct family members to show my respect to elderly

Performance!! They're all hired dancers!

My cousins dedicated a song to us and yeah they are cute twins!

ohhhh...I love this part!! My mum surprised me with a She-Male, a very sexy trans gender to entertain us & our guests and she performed extremely well.. She sang, she danced, she kissed and hugged other married men, wowwwww......!!!!!!!

Our main entertainer, she was hugging a married man with her super huge boobs... It was a sexy & funny show. Everyone was happy & enjoyed the party!!! Music was loud, foods were excellent, dancers & singers were performing extremely well. It was a blast!!

Champagne pouring

Passing flowers to my mum as an appreciation for her hard work to bring me up

 

My husband passed flowers to his mum as an appreciation for her hard work to bring him up

I kissed my mum in law to symbolise that I'm under her care now. She's my new mum now!

My direct family members were tossing & drinking champagne on the stage :)

after that the God of Money came and performed a dance.

Chinese believes that the God of Money brings lots of luck & money to those who visit him or have him visited us. Well, Chinese believes that the God's of Money would look like this, with red long gown & long black beard :) He was holding a super big gold money. Back in China, thousands years ago, money looked like that, a gold with the shape of ship, but smaller, not as big as this (hey, this is just a show, lol) The God of Money gave us a packet of gold coins, not the real gold coins, chocolate coins wrapped in gold paper hehe... that's to wish us money luck!

My sister & bro in law dedicated a song and they sang very well :)

Another fabulous dancers. They're like Korean inspired dancers :) Cool!!

Taking picture with my qi-bao gown :)

Wedding was over. Phewwww.... we finished around 12 am plus and everyone was so exhausted. Back to my hotel room or our first night room hehe...

and my husband's little nephew was going to destroy the red paper covered on top of the pee-pot (Chinese baby toilet pot) He broke & tore off the red paper!

then, he took an orange & a red packet out (money inside) and kept him for himself :)

After that, he brought the pee-pot to the toilet & peed inside the pot. Then, we kept his pee/urine for the whole night.. It's our Chinese wedding tradition! We believe that by asking a little boy (aged 10 or less) to pee on the pot, it would grant us a son as our first child.. Chinese prefers a son than a daughter. Although I don't mind having a daughter but I still followed the old tradition :)

After that we had our good rest... Tiring but very memorable!!

and there's another tradition! My mum told me that my wedding flowers CAN NOT be discarded or be given to someone else, no matter if someone is a single, attached or married! I HAVE to keep my wedding flowers myself. I HAVE to keep it until I pass away & later pass it on to my daughter when I pass away.. I dried my wedding flowers & keep it until now. It has been many months since our wedding but I still have my dried wedding flowers with me.. My mum said it's best to put the flowers above my wardrobe.. My tradition believes that by keeping wedding flowers, we'll have beautiful wedding with beautiful children.. Somehow they believe that flowers are fertility symbol hehe... Well, I just followed my tradition and I respected it very much!!!

It's the longest post ever, I hope you learn something about our Chinese-Indonesian culture and let's embrace and follow our own culture because traditions are beautiful!

Loves,
Netty