Monday, 17 June 2013

Being a SAHM is way harder than I ever dreamed it would be...

Here goes my story:

Before Ethan James, our son was born or before even I found out I was pregnant, me & dear husband had already decided for me to be a SAHM AKA stay at home mother.. I dreamed about being SAHM as the most relaxing and enjoyable job in the world, retiring from the stressful corporate world, kissing good-bye office po
litics and bitchy female colleagues..

I couldn't wait for that perfect day to come, I counted and counted days of how long had I been trying to have a baby and I could no longer wait to get pregnant and have a baby, to achieve that beautiful fantasy of mine..

After waiting for months, that dream eventually came true, I was pregnant and time flew by so fast, in the blink of my eyes, our beautiful son was born.. My dream of being a SAHM came true..

Our first month journey of parenthood was amazing, simply because we had a confinement nanny to help us to do midnight chores like feeding, diapering, soothing the baby, washing and cooking. It was absolutely a honey moon period for us.. We thought that having a newborn was pretty easy, isn't?

The challenge was not even near until our one month confinement period was over.. There started our real journey as parents..

Simply put, the nanny completed her assignment, went back home and we had to fulfill our full duties as the baby's parents..

Taking care a baby was like riding a roller coaster.. It was fun, scary, ecstatic, tiring and of course rewarding..

For myself, My title is finally "a full time stay at home mother" and to be honest with you, being a SAHM is way harder than I ever dreamed it would be..

My typical day starts by feeding the baby, changing his diapers, washing bottles, pumping breast milk, soothing baby to sleep, carrying him when he's fully awake, giving him full attention and finally the same cycle starts over again.. As I said, it's tiring but rewarding..

The sleepless nights were unbearable at the beginning but slowly I'm adjusting to my new rule as a midnight security guard to my little guy..

It's sometimes just so unfair to judge SAHMs have nothing to do at all.. In fact we are very busy at home.. Taking care an infant is a full time job, we can hardly go for toilet break, let alone go for proper 30 minute lunch.. Our duties are repeated and repeated (cleaning up, changing diapers, washing up, feeding, pumping , soothing the cranky baby, etc) and of course let me tell you, it's so much tiring than 9-6 office job.. Not mentioning sleeping for less than 3 hours every single night.. Simply put, We are on duty 24/7 with hardly any breaks in between..

Having said that, the efforts spent of being a SAHM is not much appreciated because it's already a prejudice that SAHM has nothing to do at all.. Reality is very different, unless you experience it, you will know what it is like being a SAHM

Being a SAHM means I have no income at all, I have no job and no social life.. I have wasted my hard earned Australian bachelor degree and I have wasted years of working experience.. That's at least what my mother didn't agree me being a SAHM, I have wasted her money sending me to Australia to complete my degree.

There are sometimes many thoughts running wild in my mind. Examples: will I be hired in the future? Will I be able to enter corporate world after quitting for so long? Will I be qualified again?

Final thought, is that worth to be a SAHM for someone educationally and professionally qualified as a working executive and for someone who independently earning own income? Switching a role drastically is a huge change.. And it's putting me some degree of stress and pressure too...

It's natural if I thought of going back to work but after doing the math of how much money we could save by taking care the baby ourself versus by sending the baby to infant care, we were shocked to find out that infant care in Singapore is really pricey. Although it's still affordable for us, but it's not worth to spend that money to send my precious baby away for hours..

It may be worth it if I earn so much money per month but the reality is pretty harsh.. Half income I earn would be the same amount as the infant care cost per month... In conclusion, I'm working hard, I may have to stay OT, I'm separated from my little one for hours, unsure about his well being at infant care but ironically bringing back a few hundred bucks back home every month (after deducting monthly income tax), is that worth it? Definitely not!!

My husband earns much more income than me and he can absolutely afford me being a SAHM and of course he does give me a hundred and one percent support should I want to go back to work force but looking at the money I earn, is that worth it?

Many women want to be in my shoes, thinking how great life would be to stay at home and do nothing.. I can assure you that it takes so much sacrifice to be a SAHM.. Firstly, I sacrificed my hard earned bachelor degree. Secondly, I lost my attractiveness, I'm no longer bother to put make up or to dress up nicely, after all, I'm at home cleaning up poop .. Thirdly, I miss the feeling earning my own income. Fourthly, I'm 100% depend on my husband financially, I know his money is my money but to be able to earn my own income is my little pride and achievement. Lastly, I just miss to have "me time"

Writing this article doesn't mean I don't appreciate or complain being a SAHM.. I'm beyond happy to see my little child every day but in every job, every role, every position, there are always pros and cons.. No such thing as a perfect job..

In conclusion, I never regret my decision to stay at home and to take care the love of my life now.. I sacrifice everything for my son and it's worth it..Hopefully one day I can return back to the workforce.. Who knows?

**Hardly have any time to do full make up like this now, how I miss that??

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