Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Week 30 & I'm feeling so nervous

I'm glad I make it into 30 weeks :) and I really hope I can hang on till full term at 37 weeks in mid Nov :) Pray for me, please?

I'm 7.5 months pregnant now and things are still pretty much the same, full home rest, watching my 17 month old toddler playing and doing cute stuff. I think without my son staying beside me, I don't know how am I going to spend my lonely days at home. My husband is mostly overseas and he's busy with his current project recently, luckily I have my baby boy to occupy me :) I also hope that this baby girl won't be coming urgently into this world when her daddy is still overseas. I can't imagine and I'm fear of giving birth alone, without my husband! Thinking of this situation freaks me out a little!

My baby boy has been a great company and he's really sweet too. He often sits beside me and lays his head on my chest, sometimes hugs me tight. He has never asked me to carry him anymore since I told him I can't and he has been so understanding :)

At 30 weeks, I'm currently experiencing what women called "Braxton Hicks Contractions" How I describe this is like painless contractions, but mmm... not really like contractions but it's more like a tightening feeling in my lower abdomen that can last for a minute or two. And I think I have it a few times a day. A little uncomfortable but it's totally much better compared to period cramps. It's not painful at least :D

Other pregnancy signs this week is still pretty common as such going to loo very frequently, feeling hungry in the evening, tiredness, feeling heavy, hard to get up or turn around on the bed, my belly feels a little itchy and I'm feeling so hot all the time. And funnily, I have stretch marks on my butt, not my belly ~ exact same place as my previous pregnancy.

As much as I enjoy baby's kicks in my belly but her movements can be uncomfortably painful sometimes. I think she does flip or something and I feel uncomfortable pressure when she does that or perhaps it's because she's sitting low?

Other than kicks, movements, hiccups, flips, jabs, pokes.. I think baby Cal does something funny I can't explain.. It's like one of her limbs (not sure hand or leg) digging something inside my belly. The feeling is like there's one little puppy digging the ground with her tiny paw really quickly. I wonder if other women ever felt this "digging" feeling?

Talking about hiccups, I realize baby Cal only hiccups once or twice a day, but I'm not sure if she hiccups when I'm sleeping and I can't feel it. Compared with baby EJ, he was a serial hiccup-er in my belly, he hiccupped 5-6 times a day at 31 weeks..

They said every pregnancy is different and I agree to it 100% now!

Baby Cal loves to be active, moves & kicks in the afternoon and night, but not much in the morning. Baby EJ was totally the opposite, he was quite in the afternoon. Baby Cal kicks after I have my meal but Baby EJ didn't bother at all, only kicked when he felt like to, didn't matter if I just ate a big meal or what!

They said morning sickness with vomiting is the sign of having baby girl. No morning sickness means it's a boy. For my both pregnancies, it's totally the opposite!! Don't trust that kind of myth anymore, women!! Baby EJ is a boy and when I was pregnant with him, I was so sick like a mad dog, full blown morning sickness with vomiting! And this pregnancy with baby Cal ~ a girl, my morning sickness was bearable ~ nausea but no vomiting, so you see?

And also they said you will gain more weight pregnant with a girl but a little weight pregnant with a boy.. Oh, man, this is the total opposite for me! I gained a massive amount of weight with my son and currently gaining little~ normal range with my daughter :) So go figure it out!!

As due date is getting closer and closer, I'm getting more & more nervous! I know you may say I'm silly to be nervous since I'm a second time mom. But oh gosh, it doesn't matter if this is my 2nd or 3rd pregnancy, I'm still having this mixed feeling ~ excited, scared, nervous and anxious.

One night, before we slept, I told my husband "I'm so scared.." He asked me why and I told him "I just feel like I don't know what to expect from this baby.."

It's true!

Every baby is different and I'm scared of what If...

What if I have difficult labor and end up in C-Sec ~ I had pretty okay labor with Baby EJ ~ 12 hours in total but with a little complication with the placenta delivery

What if she has colic & acid reflux problem ~ Baby EJ had that at 2-3 months old and it was a nightmare! He cried every time he was fed

What if I have problems with breastfeeding ~ I had all problems in breastfeeding with baby EJ, latching problem, fever, sore boobs, engorgement, painful lumps, milk ducts and many more. Breastfeeding was pretty much unenjoyably process I endured for 8.5 months but nevertheless, a rewarding experience!

What if she loves to cry and has sleeping problems ~ Baby EJ had that and until now ~ 17 months old, he can't sleep through the night and often cries in terror midnight without reason

What if she has fever with every jab she has ~ Baby EJ got fever every time he had his jab and taking care sick & cranky baby isn't easy & often very stressful

What if she doesn't drink milk properly ~ I struggled with Baby EJ refusing milk for many months when he was in his infancy period and God knows how much efforts I spent just to get in milk into his mouth from syringe feeding, carrying while drinking milk to baby videos

What if she's teething and gets really cranky ~ I know how hard to deal with teething baby and I have one teething baby at home right now!

Besides, I'm also so nervous about having 3-4 hours sleep a night, can I endure it? Can I do my job well as a mom with a young toddler under 2 and a newborn?

So many if's...

Of course, feeling scared is not the only feeling I have now.. I'm feeling excited too ~ can't wait to see how gorgeous she would be wearing Carter's dress I bought her and I can't wait to see how she would grow up and have a great time playing with her brother. How cute 2 kids are spending time together and so on.. I do picture beautiful images too :)

My husband said " you think too much, just focus on your pregnancy right now.. " He's right! I should follow his advise and don't think that much!

One week into my next doctor's appointment and I'm feeling nervous now (ops, didn't I just mention, "don't think too much?") :D

Baby bump at 30 weeks, oh yeah.. belly button is popped out and can be seen through my shirt ^^

No comments:

Post a Comment